Following a tragic murder-suicide involving a young couple, the Lincoln advocacy group Voices of Hope is shining a light on the complexity of domestic abuse and reminding the community that help is available.
Lincoln Police Chief Michon Morrow confirmed Friday morning that Michelle Gonzalez, 21, and Ibrahim Alhamadani, 28, were in a relationship. Additionally, a history of abuse is suggested by the fact that Gonzalez had filed a protection order against Alhamadani on Wednesday morning.
“…and that protection order was issued. Unfortunately, it was never served, and we were unable to make an arrest,” Morrow told the media. She added that only about two hours passed between confirming Gonzalez was safe and creating a safety plan to when Alhamadani struck Gonzalez with a car, then shot her before taking his own life.
Whenever situations like this occur, Voices of Hope is “keenly aware” and focused on providing any available support they can, Executive Director Natalie Roberts-Day told KLIN News.
“This loss of life is devastating,” Roberts-Day said “It serves as a heartbreaking reminder of how dangerous domestic violence can be and how important it is for everyone to understand that help is available.”‘
Voices of Hope offers a rang of programs, going beyond domestic violence support, including sexual assault, human trafficking, stalking and other forms of abuse. They offer a 24/7 crisis hot-line (402-475-7273), walk in services, as well as 24/7 response to hospitals whenever someone presents for a forensic exam.
Whenever someone is taken to jail for domestic assault, Voices will reach out to the victim to try and connect them with their services. From there, victims can receive help with next steps like filing a protection order or connecting to shelter resources.
“Truly just doing whatever we can to help survivors know that they’re not alone and helping raise awareness about the importance of addressing these crimes,” Roberts-Day summarized.
All instances of domestic violence are wholly unique, she says, but many feature similar patterns.
“It’s very important to recognize that when we’re talking about abuse, we’re talking about patterns of power, control, coercion, manipulation, intimidation and isolation. These tactics can leave victims feeling trapped. Abuse thrives in isolation,” she explained. “Victims need to remember they are not alone and abuse is not your fault. No one deserves to be hurt. Everyone deserves to live a life free from violence.”
“Why don’t you leave then?” is often asked of domestic violence victims, but Roberts-Day says it’s not so simple.
“Each individual circumstance has so many different complications. Some people may recognize they need to make a change to their lives. That might involve needing to find a different place to live, and sometimes abusers will be tracking them… Maybe they have shared children, and so there’s complications with custody. There could be financial coercion. Or maybe a feeling that family members or friends are going to side with that abuser and not provide that help or support,” she said.
Studies show that a significant number of women killed by an abuser lose their lives while attempting to leave or after leaving the relationship. The 2014 HBO documentary Private Violence estimates that up to 75% of murdered abused women are killed after leaving their partners.
“Our organization wants to make it clear to victims: You have choices. You have a voice. Your voice deserves to be honored, valued, and respected,” said Roberts-Day. “When people walk through our doors, we’re not telling them to take certain actions or make certain choices. We’re just here to walk alongside them and help them take whichever steps towards safety that makes sense in their life… We’re here to listen. Not to judge. We want to connect you with the support you need and help you make those choices for yourself.”
For more information on Voices for Hope, visit voicesofhopelincoln.org.